Looking Down The Barrel Of A Glock 22
Okay, that was a lie. I wasn’t really looking down the barrel of a Glock 22 pistol.. I just thought it would make it sound like I lived this really daring and dangerous life. It was a close call though…
A few days ago I mentioned in this post about my car stereo having a mind of its own and about the CD that is stuck in the player but won’t play. It only makes this hissing sound. Then yesterday it added an annoying clicking sound to the mix.. just to drive me batty.
Hammer was kind enough to comment with a suggestion on how to get the CD out, but unfortunately, I couldn’t locate the little hole that he mentioned. Since the opening is so thin, my son suggested trying to pry it out with a knife. I thought his idea had merit and was a better solution than my idea which was to bash the damn thing with a hammer. I’m telling you that clicking noise was driving me that insane. It was all I could concentrate on.. click, click-click, click. Where is a good “Hammer” when you need one?
So this morning, when we were leaving to go to school, I took my biggest and baddest butcher knife with me. After I dropped off the kids off at the three different schools I go to each morning, I pulled over on the one way street that leads out of the high school parking lot and onto the main road. It was a safe enough spot since the road is only used for school traffic and as usual we were one of the last to arrive. It was more or less deserted at that point.
I had the window down.. it’s lovely here these days by the way.. nice 65 degree weather with a light breeze. Anyway, I got busy trying to wedge my blade into the CD slot and wasn’t paying attention to anything else around me, until someone knocked on the roof above the driver side of my car. It startled me and I jerked around to the source of the sound. It was the police officer that had conducted this morning’s traffic duty. It’s like a madhouse up there in the mornings and afternoons, so there is always a police officer there assisting with the flow of traffic trying to get back out onto the main road.
I must have presented a demented looking picture when I turned towards the window. That’s all I can figure, or else he wouldn’t have immediately reached for his sidearm when I faced him. I can only imagine what he was thinking, poor man. There I sat with a pissed off look on my face because the stereo was winning against the butcher knife I was wielding in my right hand like I was about to go in for a kill.. hair shooting out from head at all angles. Let me tell you.. a razor style haircut and bed head do not make an attractive combination.
He backed up a step or two, hand still on his sidearm and shouted, “Drop the knife!” Well I wasn’t going to just drop the damn thing.. it was hovering about a foot over my leg.. so I turned and laid in on the passenger seat. He backed up another step.. and said.. “I meant outside the vehicle. Do it now!”
I held my hands up and told him the truth..”Well it’s a really expensive knife. Do I have to throw it out the window?” I said, “I’m not going to stab you for pete’s sake, I’m just trying to get a CD out of the player.. it’s stuck and it keeps clicking.”
Anywhooo.. he ended up cautiously coming closer to the car and told me to pick up the knife by the blade end and hand it to him.. which of course I did, because I didn’t care to get shot or carted off to the slammer over a Hannah Montana CD.
He was such a nice fellow, he ended up sitting over in my passenger seat and getting the CD out for me.. with MY butcher knife I might add. We chatted all the while he was jabbing away at my CD player. We talked about me scaring him (I’m so bad ass.. all 5′2″ of me), his gun since I told him I was going to blog the incident.. “Hi Officer K! In case you really do come by to read about our morning!”
He also gave me a stern lecture before we parted ways. I now know all about knives, where you can carry them, what’s legal to carry around with you and what’s illegal.. how long overall they can be, how long the blade can be.. and so on.
Apparently carrying a 10″ butcher knife in the front seat of your car falls into the illegal category.
That is so funny….I get this vision of you in PJs and a ragged out hair style with a huge butcher knife in your hand. That poor cop….He must’ve thought you were psycho!!! LOL. Anyway, I’m glad you are here to tell us about it!
@ Krystal.. Yep! I wasn’t shot, no jail time and most importantly.. no more clicking!
What are the odds of this happening to you? I mean this is hysterical!
Geez, you lead such an exciting life! LOL.
@ Gypsy.. you know, I thought about waiting until I went to get the kids this afternoon. I always have at least a 30 minute wait until the bell rings. I CHOSE not to because I thought it wouldn’t look right me having a big old knife in my car around all those kids, lol.
I never once thought about it being illegal though. Actually I’m just lazy and knew I didn’t want to have to make another trip out to my car once I got home from dropping them all off.
Obviously, it does NOT pay to be lazy.
You’re very lucky that the police officer was friendly and in a good mood! If it was in NY, I’m sure you’d probably be getting a ticket or going off to jail! haha
LOL, I was thinking the same thing about NY, Alisha. Only with the addition, actually being shot.
At the very least, you’d have to pick the knife up downtown.
I sure don’t know how you manage to get into all these predicaments, day after day. You’d make a great soap opera or SitCom!
I’ve taken a butcher knife to my car many times, cutting belts, trimming broken hoses, installing radios etc… I’m glad I didn’t catch the attention of the police, they would have perforated me for sure.
Glad you came away ok..I think I would have made a pucker mark on the seat if that had happened to me
@ Alisha.. All the police officers here are friendly. It’s a relatively small community, so they kinda have to be since chances are they are pulling over their neighbor, family member.. preacher, lol.
@ Freebies.. NY scares me! In regards to my life, lol.. did you know my mom actually begs me to not go anywhere that isn’t 100% necessary? She says and I quote.. “Cat, you are an accident waiting to happen.”
She won’t even get in the car anymore if I’m driving. That part is actually kind of cool, because that means she does the driving and I can use the time in route to finish getting ready.
@ Hammer.. I think I would have been okay if I had stayed in my driveway, although I’m not really sure if that is illegal too or not.
Did you know you are the reason I asked him what kind of gun he had? LOL. I read your Best Day Ever post and when I told him I was going to blog him.. I mentioned you and told him I needed to get that part right. Now that I think about it I mentioned you in regards to the hole too. Hmm… were your ears burning this morning around 8:05 central time?
By the way.. where the hell is that hole? I think mine is missing.
Well now, that didn’t come out sounding right, did it?
Let me rephrase.. I think my stereo’s hole is missing.
There, that’s better.
LOL! I hope you were wearing clean underwear if he shot ya. Nevermind… clean jammies without the chocolate smears all over yourself, but it would make for some good bad ass cop lickin’, wouldn’t it??
When my nephew “R” was in kindergarten his teacher let him know on the first day that SHE was in charge. The second day he concealed a butcher knife in his pants as he walked the block to school with his clueless older brothers.
(they actually ran on ahead of him because he was “walking like a dork” and embarrassing them.) In class he pulled out the knife and told the teacher HE was in charge. She just took a step forward, gave him the “Teacher” eye and he dropped the knife and started to cry.
Good thing you didn’t take a step forward & give that cop your special “Crazed Person” eye. He would have called for backup.
You could have been an episode on cops! Running down the street waving the knife, How fast can you run? I wonder if they pay anything when you are a ‘guest star’ on Cops?
@ WorkAtHomeSpace.. ssshh.. I intentionally left out that I was in my normal drop the kids off at school attire. I was worried people would think that I had no clothes since I’ve mentioned my PJ’s several times.
@ Ched.. OMG! LOL.. poor little kid, he is lucky too that he didn’t get in trouble for that. We had a kid In kindergarten that threatened another to bring a knife and he got sent to the office.
I think I probably had a more wtf do you want look on my face when I turned around. But the next time I’m packin’ a weapon I’ll make sure to keep the “Crazed Person” eye closed.
Now if he had told me I was going to be on “Cops” (how damn humiliating that would be) or on TV in any capacity.. that’s when I would have given him the “Crazed Person” eye… you know, right before turning the knife on myself.
It’s good you only took a knife to free your CD, and not a pistol. A woman randomly shooting her CD player tends to draw a little more attention.
I think along with having a long knife, shooting your car cd player is also illegal.
I’m not sure about that. I would post bail for you.
@ Ryan.. Something tells me you may be onto something there. It’s probably good thing I don’t own a gun.. that damn clicking was making me so nuts, I feel certain I would have considered using it.
And just aren’t you the sweetest thing! If I ever get thrown in the slammer.. I know who to call.
OMG! I can only imagine! And this would happen to ONLY YOU. I bet your heart was beating a mile a minute. lol
I know I would have s***my pants myself.
No, never a dull moment with ya!
Just make sure to keep having these exciting moments in your life!
I hope that if you ever end up in jail, that they’d let your “one phone call” be going online to blog to us all so we know where you are!
ROFL! That is the first time I’ve laughed all day. Possibly all week. You told that story so well - I was in hysterics! Glad I came across your blog… bookmarking it.
@ WAH Opps.. What can I say.. I live in a freaking zoo.. and apparently I’m the zoo keeper. Like this afternoon, Connor was showing me what he said was a “very, very important paper”. Well first off, he was trying to show me this in the car, while I was driving the army of kids home that I pick up from school everyday.
We had the windows open, the wind caught it and blew it out of his hands. Of course we had to be on one of the busiest roads in our city. He screamed some funky something other that sounded like “Schwishinhiemer!” I said, “What????”
He starts screaming, “Stop! Stop! Stop!” So I pulled over and there we all pile out of the car, me, my three and the three other teenage boys that ride home with us everyday.. all of us, chasing that damn paper down the road. Every time one of us would get near it, it would blow away or a car would come flying by and cause it to flutter in the breeze.
Anyway, we finally got it back. LOL.. it had tire tracks all over it, but was still in one piece so we considered it one hell of a save.
Zoo I tell ya!
@ Alisha.. Oh girl you know it! You know, I think I could handle being incarcerated otherwise. I love to read and might would possibly dig a 5 to 10 sentence of no “Mom”, “Mom!!!”, “Hey Mom!”, “Um Mom can you…”
But the lack of internet.. oh holy hell.. shoot me now!
Remind me to tell you sometime about the first time I got arrested. It caused a snowball effect that really screwed me over the second time I got arrested.. cost a shit load of money too.
Ahh the good old days.
@ Lori.. Hi there! Welcome to Groovy Lady!
I’m glad I gave you a laugh.. I’ve laughed about it myself on and off throughout the day. I keep picturing the policeman’s face when he was backing away from me, lol.. cracks me up every time I visualize it. I’m so mean.
I just realized that I know who you are! I just clicked on your link and went to your blog. I recognized the name immediately.. I have been to your main site many times. You do an excellent, excellent job with it.
It’s great to have you here with us!
My goodness! Do you ever get invited to your kid’s show and tell days? (Or are they too old for that?)
I can just imagine the lecture now: “How not to…”
LOL,
Michelle
LOL.. ohh that was harsh! I loved it!
The only one that is young enough to still have show and tell is my 6 year old and she only wants to take things like her panties that have the days of the week on them. She’s so much like me.
The boys would freak out if I showed up in their classes. They think it’s horrible that their friends who come over to the house like me, so they try to keep me hidden as much as possible.
God bless them.. too bad it doesn’t work.
*bats lashes*
The paper chase sounded like fun! Like a business chasing his hat, there used to be an old metal sign on the stairs of one subway station: Watch Your Hats!
There was a weird updraft there. They never warned women to watch their skirts though.
Knife Nephew: He got put into an entirely different school! It was a real mess.
COPS: Bad boys is the theme song, are bad girls ever on that show?
I meant business man chasing his hat– I always make mistakes!
In NY you do see the hat chase once in a while. The hat is clever and waits til the man almost touches it before it flys off again, landing 6 inches away. (weird winds between skyscrapers.) sometimes you’ll see a hat just scooting down the whole block, or crossing a street. Guys always look like dorks chasing hats. There is no cool way to chase something the wind is playing with.
No there isn’t a cool way at all and being the chaser is uncool too.
However *evil grin* I have a video tape of my ex who isn’t really an ex at all, well not technically anyway.. chasing a beach ball that the wind kept out of his reach for a good 100 yards when we were at our beach house with some friends.
He definitely has the dork thing going on in it and you can hear all the rest of us laughing our asses off at him in the background.
I watch it every now and then when he ticks me off.. excellent footage and it gives me a perverse kind of pleasure to be able to laugh at him sometimes.
Thanks for the welcome Groovy Lady — and look how compelling your last entry was. I’m already back for more!
Woohoo! Thank you kindly for the compliment and for coming back.
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